Happy Birthday

Today is my best friends birthday. She would have been 32 today. It is not something I talk about much, let alone write. However as we near 3 years of her passing I am reminded everyday of her in small ways, large ways both quiet and loud. Robyn saw herself as invincible and it is that attitude I am sure aided in her death. There isn’t a day that passes I dont think of her, her passing left this void in my life that has never and will never be filled. I am in large part who I am today because of her and I am so grateful to have had 10 years with her.

It is today I want to share with you all my eulogy, there is a lot of hurdles I have overcome in my life but standing up in front of all her friends and family on that afternoon next to my mother my words being spoke one of the hardest.

Wherever you are, know I love you and miss you everyday. Happy Birthday ❤

What can I say about Robyn, I love her, at times like the annoying dramatic little sister, other times the other half to my own chaotic spirt. Looking back at my life over the last 10 years, I do not have a defining moment that she has not been apart of. She was always there for me, even when I tried so hard to push her away. I have said this for years, she saved my life, she gave a reason when I thought there was none. I am forever in her debt.
Anyone who was lucky enough to get close to Robyn will tell you have sarcastically funny she was, her wit and sarcasm was only outweighed by how big her heart actually was although is she was here right now she’d have some witty retort to downplay all the good she brought to the people around her.
I have so many stories and memories with Robyn it was hard to narrow them to just a few to share with you today. However here are some of my most special. Robyn and I met working at 7/11, I actually became her manager, this was when we became close. Robyn was very hardworking. She worked right through her pregnancy with Jasmine, we used to joke that if her water were to break at work and before I would let her go to hospital she would have to clean up the mess because I hated extra paperwork. Robyn really changed after having Jasmine, her and I just grew closer, we saw each other almost everyday. I was going through a hard time few months after that and Robyn would show up at my house everyday with a Blueberry creme coffee and make me get up and sit outside with her, everyday, and when I wouldn’t get up she’d bang on the door until I dragged myself out of bed and answered the door. Pretty soon I was getting up to meet her in my back yard. She’d bring Jas and we’d play outside until Robyn couldn’t keep her eyes open or she was too sunburnt to continue she’d take Jas home and sleep before going to work at 11pm. That was Robyn, she knew I needed someone and she was there, regardless everyday sometimes twice. Like I said she saved me. When her and Brad decided to get married she never even asked me to be her maid of Honor, she told me I was going to be. She said if I’m wearing a dress so are you. That was the end of it. I was honoured to stand up for Robyn and Brad on their day, but if paled in comparison to the day she asked me to be in the room with them when they welcomed Gabe into the world. Laying on her hospital bed a day in her and I singing Pocket full of Sunshine holding hands waiting for Gabe to arrive (man we hated that song, but we sang like Divas smiling and laughing). I can not have children of my own so Robyn made it perfectly clear that I was going to be there with them to experience it it was something I had too see, however she made me promise that once I saw her giving birth I wouldn’t loose any respect for her. Nothing could have been further from what happened. She gave me something I never thought I would have, and quite frankly a view from an angle I never wanted to have. Another reason I am indebted to her. Whether is was moving to Cochrane to be closer or showing up with daisies and coffee every year on my birthday Robyn was and is one of the best people I have ever known, everyone had their faults and she was no different but when push came to shove you couldn’t have a more thoughtful, caring person in your corner.
Over the last couple years Robyn and I didn’t spend much time together but we talked and texted lots, we used to have entire conversations through e cards and other random funny pictures. That was the thing with our friendship sometimes we didn’t need to talk, we just knew. And here is what I know. I loved her, she made a huge impact of me and helped me become who i am today. In spite of everything she accepted and loved me. Other then my own family I have never had a bigger supporter, she always had my back and I hers. I hope I gave her half of what she gave me. I am blessed to have known her and even more blessed that she allowed me in and let me be such a part of her life for all these years. My world got a little smaller and darker last week, I will think of her often and miss her everyday. I hope she is at peace and knows that she was loved and touched the lives of all of us. I will carry her and our memories with me and look forward to seeing my dearest friend again.

8 thoughts on “Happy Birthday

  1. I’m glad for you that you had such a friend, Candice. They make the world worth being a part of. It hurts when you lose a friend like that and time doesn’t change the pain but hopefully changes it to good memories and less sorrow. ((hugs))

    Liked by 1 person

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