I am…

I am troubled, full of self-doubt and deep-rooted anger. I am constantly second-guessing myself, self-judging, and yet hold no judgment for others on the same level.
I am quiet, shy, and hate attention, I am better on my own than with other people. I have trust issues. I don’t let people in and hate having friends it’s too much work. Yet I am loyal, fierce, and unapologetic in my beliefs and morals. I have great intuition and would die for someone I care about.
While I love being alone, it is unhealthy to sustain because I have darkness and depression that can overtake me. In quiet times I hear a static that is calming and inviting. I do have connections with people and it is a lot of work for me to upkeep them more than most I think. I am vengeful and cruel when I want to be, I can hurt and be awful, and I play well there. I work at being good and kind, people exhaust me. I hate crowds I am pretty good at 1 on 1. I’m boring, I love to do nothing, again I know it’s unhealthy.
If I let someone in I am protective and will fight for them even when they give up. I am relentless. I have no quit. I can’t be silent and let others suffer. I am an oxymoron, for I also am compassionate and care about the world. I hate injustice, I voice my opinion even when it’s unpopular. I am sad, always, and I am angry always, yet I can laugh until I cry. I am sarcastic and humorous. I am not maternal, and being nurturing is hard for me. I am stubborn and determined. I am me and I am okay.