Welcomed Rest

.

.

I feel myself retreating

Withdrawling from my life.

Resorting back to who I was

Not who I want to be

Struggling to make sense of the fog

The demons in the corners of my mind

The voices grow louder with each passing breath

Taunting my existence, encouraging me to surcome

My old tricks aren’t working

Feeling the calmness that is promised if I just stop

I try to steady my breath

I try to quiet the buzzing

Meditate a dangerous mind

Lay to rest the battling thoughts

Force myself to continue forward

I can’t afford not to see this through I have come to far to play dead now

Yet I feel myself sinking back to comfortable discomfort

Angry all the time

I sink into bed counting reasons to get back up

A war is being fought

In the darkest corners of my mind

The static almost winning, not caring what comes next

Exhaustion setting in

Trying to settle in, find myself again

Before it is too late, the progress completely undone

Unrecognized by my own mirror, a stranger in my life

Falling victim to the shadows

Easy prey for the depression

Welcomed rest from the war

I think I will stay here forever amongst the hate and the loathing

Here is where you’ll find me, when all happiness is gone