My dearest girl;
I know you are busy wrapped up in your life. Things aren’t easy now. Trust me I have been there. Nothing I can say will ease this pain and make the journey you are on now any easier. However you need to know.
I am sorry.
I am not sorry that this has happened to you.
I am sorry you feel you this is something you need to deal with on your own. I am sorry that you are unaware of the support you have. That the people in your corner will not shy away from this but rally together help you, listen to you and most importantly believe in you.
I am sorry that in this one devastating moment you feel you were defined. That someone else made you feel all the ugly feels you’re experiencing right now. I am sorry that you’ll take this and make choices some of which you’ll regret, others you’re just not happy with for years to come instead of attacking this head on. I am sorry you don’t know you have it in you to attack it head on.
I am sorry you are left feeling weak, isolated and alone when you are none of those things. I am sorry you sit there contemplating dark morbid thoughts and feel as though death might be a good option for you. I am sorry you feel like you’re being torn between 2 worlds and suffering to keep your footing.
I am sorry I can’t be there for you in ways I know I should. That you’re made to feel hopeless, and despair has been an ally of yours instead of enjoying this time happy and carefree. I am sorry that the mask you wear today will be the armor you’ll feel you’ll need to carry for years.
I am sorry I wasn’t strong enough to save you until now. It was not for the lack of trying. I too was lost in a life I desperately clung too. I was scared, I ached for strength and prayed for closure, nothing came. I struggled, I clawed and fought out of the darkest of spaces, in the deepest of corners to find my way to you now. I am sorry it is so late. You deserved better. You are better than this, we are better than this. I am sorry I can not tell you these things and you’ll have to learn on your own. But trust me when I say you’ll make it through, you’ll come out stronger, you will not only survive you’ll thrive. I know this because we are the same, we are one. I am you. You are me. We are the same.
I am sorry. I love you. Please forgive me.