The Hard Stuff

Yesterday I posted a poem called Memory Train. It is a very personal piece as most are. However this one’s subject matter is one I don’t talk about or share. As I continue to write I am coming to realize I can not boost, openness and honesty if I gaze over events in my life that have shaped and molded me to who I became. The thing is these events are not pleasant and many extremely difficult to talk about. There has been a culture of shame based around some, victim blaming others, or a stigma that the world has not shaken yet. It is hard to break out and speak the things people are afraid to talk about or even more afraid to hear. I want to share them but I am hesitant not because I am ashamed but because sometimes when you speak up and take the leap you are standing alone. It took me years to master owning my own life experiences unashamed, I can’t expect whoever you are reading this to come so easily to the light with me, because I have been dark. So dark that I look back and scare myself.

These experiences, these moments, these events are the darkest parts of me, but they drive me to want to live in the light. There are secrets I have not shared with anyone, not entirely, and in all fairness the whole story unedited will probably never find its way to the page. I am willing however to talk about some of these events, put the pen to paper, the fingers to the keyboard and share to start the conversation, drive us forward, but it takes time to get there. The “train event” I am ready to talk about. In fact I will share that in the next couple days, there are others that I feel comfortable sharing and will stop hazing over details. I give warning now, some are graphic and there are some that still haunt me. It’s time though, I know I am not alone in these situations, and if it takes someone to start the conversation I will start, and I am under no illusions that I am the only one talking. There are movements happening showing it’s happening, but in my life, in my corner of it all, no one is talking that I can hear, and I want to hear. So I will start.

When I started Sacred Venus, I had a vision what what I wanted, where I wanted it to go, I wanted to not only share my poetry and other writing I wanted it to mean something. I wanted it to stand for something. It is my way of helping, my outlet for change, whether it was through the GoFundMe I started to raise money for period products, or show things I am passionate about, it was a way to get the words out, it was an idea brought to fruition because it was time for me to stop waiting for it to happen and to go out and start. It is with this mindset that I will continue (and in some cases start) sharing my truth so many you the reader will feel comfortable sharing yours.



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